Vladimir Putin

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It’s been a while since I’ve updated the Vladimir Putin Facts.  With the summer comes a fresh crop of facts that must be stated.

  • Vladimir Putin does not have “beer summits;” only vodka summits. (Thanks to Sean!)
  • Vladimir Putin loves horses.  Horses are given the choice to love Vladimir Putin or be turned into glue for the glory of Russia.
  • Michael Phelps has only lost a race to Vladimir Putin.  Vladimir Putin always wins.
  • Vladimir Putin has won the strategic beefcakes race for Russia.  Obama’s beach antics are mere blips on the radar compared to the might of Russia’s resident stud.
  • Vladimir Putin tames wild horses with a single glance.
  • Vladimir Putin is the first person to drive a party boat at supersonic speeds.  He achieved a magnificent velocity after politely asking the other guests on the boat to row a little faster.
  • There are no critics of Vladimir Putin.  There never were and there never will be.
  • Vladimir Putin has graciously permitted Dmitry Medvedev to believe he runs Russia.
  • All soldiers in Russia’s army volunteer to serve lest Vladimir Putin look unfavorably in their direction.
  • Vladimir Putin is a great lover of animals and green scientific research.  He enjoys feeding whales, petting dolphins, and observing sea life from the comfort of a submarine in his spare time.

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