Vladimir Putin Facts Part VIII

It’s amazing how many new Vladimir Putin facts create themselves through the news every week!  Does anyone have any others?

  • Vladimir Putin is like the energizer bunny.  He just keeps returning and returning and returning to power.
  • Vladimir Putin has strong and vigorous relationships with all of Russia’s most beautiful and talented gymnasts.
  • Vladimir Putin would be James Bond’s greatest super villain ever.  So great, in fact, that the Bond franchise will not discuss the deal for fears of James Bond being killed outright within 20 seconds of the movie’s opening sequence.
  • Vladimir Putin doesn’t speak with his fists.  He speaks with his missiles.
  • Vladimir Putin will never consider buying back Alaska unless Sarah Palin comes as part of the sale.
  • Russia’s icebreaker fleet comes equipped with stripper poles for the exclusive entertainment of Vladimir Putin when he goes on vacation to the ice fields.
  • Twenty brave and valiant Russian submariners were killed when Vladimir Putin passed gas on a tour of a nuclear submarine.  Vladimir Putin has since harnessed his very occasional flatulence in a weaponized form.
  • Vladimir Putin will not give back the islands Russia took from Japan at the end of World War II until Japan delivers a sushi gift basket that is equal in size to the landmass of the islands.  Vladimir Putin loves sushi as much as he loves those islands.
  • Vladimir Putin has mastered Blue Steel, Le Tigre, Ferrari, and Magnum.
  • Vladimir Putin writes himself into daytime Russian television to the delight of the entire country.

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